Justin Achilli

Category: RPGs

Six Spears and the Spire

A map is like a good line-art illustration, worth the proverbial thousand words. On the best maps, you can simply take a look at them and immediately have ideas for stories or games that can take place inside them.

Yesterday I went through a folder of old game stuff and found the one below. I can’t remember who did the original illustration (I TinEye’d and everything), but I obviously loved it so much I swiped it and dropped a handful of my own campaign details on it. This was from a game back in 2006, I think, which didn’t quite take off because I was living in Texas and my players were in Atlanta. It was an attempt at play-by-post but almost immediately collapsed under the weight of six adults’ schedules. If only roll20 existed back then. Hell, we hosted this thing on LiveJournal, that’s how long ago it was.

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The campaign itself was fun, I thought. Two big city-states at war, with the players serving as mercenaries taking whichever side they wished, with a great deal of urban conflict and political scheming above the players’ level but visible to them. Ptolus was one of the cities and the other was Ceyrun (which was the City-State of the Invincible Overlord under a different name). The home city was Belluna, a Venetian-styled canal city that was small but wealthy, and where I had run a previous campaign for the players. (I’ve doing something with Belluna right now, actually, but it’s in the queue behind another project or two.) But the point, of course, is that I saw the map, it gave me an idea, and a campaign emerged from it. All creativity requires is that single spark, and then… genesis!

Click here for the campaign character creation and background doc.

Anarchs Unbound: Redlines and Rewrites

If you’re into Vampire, I’ve recently put up some redlined material from the forthcoming Anarchs Unbound book. A blog entry discussing the redlining process and the general production pipeline is here.

If you’re not into Vampire, perhaps you’ll enjoy this music video. It’s the song that will play at my funeral.

Toxic Community and the Illusion of Agency

Bioware has a reputation for storytelling, but it’s taken some hits recently. Over at gamesindustry.biz, I saw an article about the negative environment at Bioware’s social site, however.

Part of the negative attention Bioware has received lately I think comes at the intersection of predetermined narrative and player input. With the negative reception for the conclusion of the Mass Effect trilogy, I think this is a self-created problem for Bioware.

Plainly stated, certain single-player and quest-heavy computer RPGs cultivate the illusion of choice, that you’re in control of the character’s fate. Over time, as the player experiences the game, the illusion grows, but in the end, when the game (or trilogy) concludes, that illusion evaporates abruptly. The end — whether it’s a single ending or one from an array of multiple endings — happens and the player responds with, “What? That wasn’t what should have happened at all!”

dragon_problemAnd that “should have” is the point of divergence from player expectation and the game-as-product that was delivered. In a scripted storyline, as all narrative-construction games must be, because that’s how they’re coded, the player is not in control of his fate. In tabletop RPGs, the gamemaster can’t help but give a mutually achieved story result. In most computer games, particularly those that rely on scripted stories, it’s all but impossible. Marketing, positioning, and development promises for computer RPGs, however, very often posit just the opposite, that every decision the player makes ultimately collects to create a unique ending that is the culmination of his — the player’s — story.

This simply is not true. In any game with a scripted narrative, the best the player can accomplish is some amount of steering the story toward one of the pre-written eventualities built into the game during development. This has always occurred to me as a weird way to allocate development, as well. Your player won’t see a significant portion of the experience you’re paying to develop. It’s as much movie as game, and the player isn’t really telling his story, he’s only pantomiming his version of the permitted story. I remember seeing a marketing promise about Dragon Age’s story component: The claim was that it had as much “content” — a word that represents a loathsome reduction of the craft of storytelling to a product — as nine fantasy novels! Well, so what? If I wanted to read novels, I’d read novels instead of playing a game. And most of that, the player won’t even see, given that he’s making choices in game that wall off a distinct portion of it. “Features a ponderous volume of writing ill suited to the medium into which it’s been crammed, but don’t worry; you’ll never see most of it” makes for a poor bullet point.

The blame here, unfortunately falls on both sides. It falls on the side of the developer perpetuating the lie that the player controls his fate, when really, he’s in control of (meta)gaming his experience toward his desired result. It also falls on the side of the player for not adequately understanding what he’s buying, or, worse, willfully ignoring that reality. Certainly, the player is less culpable in this arrangement — he’s actively being lied to — but, as the old saying goes, fool the player once, shame on you, but fool the player twice, shame on him. For many players, I believe the potential of the outcome outweighed the inherent limitations of the medium, and then reality intruded.

Games that make this plain don’t suffer the same sort of hostility, at least with regard to the illusion of determination. You’re telling Niko Bellic’s story, or Ezio’s story, or Gordon Freeman’s story: There’s no misstatement there. But when the scope of the degree to which the player’s ownership of that story conflicts with what the player has been led to believe, when the amount of Shepard’s destiny that the player controls is at odds with the amount he’s told he controls, that’s where the letdown of expectations occurs. I’m not generally disposed toward the use of phrases like “entitlement,” but in this case the player has been told one thing and given another. So long that continues happening, especially in the epoch of eight-figure development budgets, the feeling of frustration will persist.

Anarchs Unbound Dev Scenario: Stealing Alexander

I’m using the the following scenario as a playtest bed for some of the Anarchs material that’s rolling in. It’s for an elders one-shot or mini-chronicle that uses some of the concepts and mechanics of Anarchs Unbound, currently in development.


The Prince of Atlanta has much to deal with during the week that the city hosts the Grand Masquerade. The agenda for this Kindred convocation seems fluid — vampires of every clan and sect will attend, with a week-long observation of neutrality from all attendees (at least in open sight of others). Camarilla luminaries will rub elbows with Sabbat icons as True Black Hand agents discourse with Anarch firebrands and Inconnu mystics. The gathering will be at once political and apolitical, a chance for the undead to associate without the sanction of their sects… but many contacts are made and relationships are forged in this bizarre crucible “celebrating” the Kindred condition.

Vampire20LogoFor one coterie of Kindred, however, the events of the Grand Masquerade pale in comparison to gaining revenge against a hated rival. For, while the Prince’s attentions lie with the impending convocation of all sects, the time is right to steal the torpid form of the Methuselah Alexander.

Over a century ago, Alexander relented to the will of his assembled Primogen — for he was then Prince — and starved himself into torpor to satisfy the Kindred’s demand for exile. His childe assumed the praxis following Alexander’s abdication, and has since remained Prince. The result empowered the Primogen who, after removing the tyrant Methuselah, replaced him with a figurehead who nonetheless held power at their whim: a puppet, but a puissant one.

For the Camarilla Kindred of Atlanta, the transition from Alexander to his childe was pomp and circumstance. Nothing in their unlives changed as this particular maneuver in the Jyhad played itself out. To the Anarchs, however, the transition represented the grand betrayal of the War of Ages. Meet the new Prince, same as the old Prince, and no Kindred’s lot improves who isn’t already at the top. The shift in praxis was symbolic only, consolidating more power among the council while stripping it from the office of the vacant Alexander. With a strong Primogen and their sledgehammer Prince ruling Atlanta, the Anarchs could do little but bide their time and wait for an opening.

That opening has come. As the Prince and Primogen attend to their high-profile self-congratulatory fashion show, Alexander will be left on his own. And what better statement of Anarch craft and the unsuitability of the Primogen than to abscond with the slumbering corpse of the one-time Prince while his caretakers preen before the rest of Kindred society?

Not everything is so simple for the Anarchs, however. Stealing Alexander would be a grand coup — but they have to find him first. And then, once they’ve seized the torpid Methuselah, what do they do with him? Is diablerizing him publicly, destroying him as a symbol, a grand enough gesture? Would it be better to expose the Primogen for all their vain weakness and demand a ransom? Or might Alexander actually harbor some sympathy for the Anarch cause after a century of torpid punishment?

Exodus, Session Two

Heeding again the clarion call of the “Tomb of the Seeker,” the party once more traveled south from the port village of Bier. The only surviving member of the original party of two, Mardun, recruited the help of three additional adventurers in an effort to discover just what it was that had the limping madman raving as he collapsed just outside of town some two weeks ago. Joined by the human rogue Stiev (ostensibly charged with watching the madman for the thieves’ guild of Bier), the elven cleric Kython who hails from the Dearthwood, and the half-elven barbarian Zirul who has no home among the elves of the wood nor the men of the City-State, Mardun the fiendish alchemist led the group southward.

The group made good time, keeping to the Old South Road and straying from it only to make camp for the night. A chorus of unknown pilgrims passed the camp in the night, but Mardun had no interest in them and let them pass, as they came past the camp during his watch.

In the Wilderlands, there’s no guarantee that what you find is occupied by its original inhabitants.

The next day, travel continued amid light rain, and the group discovered a strange manor on a scarp where the hills thinned eastward and the woods haunted by the Mystic Eye tribe of giants and orcs thinned to the west. Stiev’s initial reconnaissance indicated that this was unlikely to be the “Tomb of” anything, unless whatever it was died in comfort and was buried in its home. The manse was ostentatious, constructed in a style unfamiliar to the midden-age sensibilities of the communities outlying the City-State, with open galleries and pillars of quarried and sculpted marble. Caryatids held up the vaulted ceilings in the central hall, in which hundreds of wild birds made their home and stained the marble with their droppings.

The party explored the mansion (which was actually a slightly retooled take on Widdecombe’s laboratory) fairly thoroughly. The idea of open doors bothers Mardun somewhat, so the party first scouted the lay of the mansion before venturing past any portals. Thus they met the fish-golem Adapa (though they never learned his name nor his penchant for powerful magic), whose lapses in memory made them unsure about the place and its purpose.

In reverse sequence, they discovered the various laboratories and living quarters into which the mansion had been converted. In particular, Mardun felt a strong connection to the place, in its function if not the exact experiments. Kython, by contrast, recoiled at the amorality of the place, and chalked it up to the ephemeral lives of Men, who learn so very quickly during their fleeting lives that it sometimes erodes their ethic and their sanity.

Part of Widdecombe’s work in progress. (Relax; it’s not real.)

When they eventually discovered the old scientist’s offices, after meeting the genocidal brass constructs, the fractured aristocrat, the idiot fowl-woman, the vats of caustic acid, the flesh incubator, and the nacreous gut of the mollusk that had overtaken the vestibule, the party declared the eugenicist’s journals a trove. Mardun pledged to study them, which Kython decided to be the lesser of possible evils, arguably better than selling them to a buyer whose own aims might be more dubious than Mardun’s personal quest for redemption.

Such lofty ambitions faced immediate peril, however, when a tribe of dog-men, warned by a scouting party of their fellows that had been dispatched by the adventurers, came calling. The explorers had barricaded themselves inside Widdecombe’s sanctum, and when a warlike humanoid came hammering on the door with more dog-men in his retinue. The monstrous fellow was a dumb brute but deadly, and the dog-men wielded strange javelins that allowed them to generate and direct lightning, no doubt artifacts of Widdecombe’s menagerie, which used a great deal of electricity to provide the divine spark that animated some of its denizens. The dog-men had stricken Zirul with Levin-bolts at their first encounter, and Kython’s divine magic had brought him back from death’s hearth. As Stiev tumbled past the hulking horror during the midnight ambush, however, he greeted the second gang of dog-men, who electrocuted him beyond any hope of return.

Rogues are 0-for-2 so far in the Exodus campaign.

Zirul, in a barbarous rage, cleft the brute almost in twain, like an ox at a sacrifice, and the wretched thing barely held on to its own destructive capacities, lashing out in response. More swordplay and the elixirs crafted by Mardun brought the thing low, and the dog-men routed.

Recovered from the room that housed the insensate, nonsessile slab of living tissue, and used to “dress” the eugenicist’s constructs in flesh.

The next day, the remainder of the party chose not to press its luck, and returned to Bier with a sledge crafted from one of the lightweight but durable metallic doors Stiev had removed during the laboratory’s plunder. Laden with anachronistic treasures, the party cashed in and formed a rough article of incorporation. Hereafter on explorations and adventures, those in attendance will set aside an additional share, which will be held in a company trust, to be used for supplies and other sundries.

This session went much better than the first, which I attribute to both having ample party members to handle the expedition and to more comfort with sandbox exploration. I was happier with my presentation — the group was genuinely weirded out by some of the situations they discovered, and that’s the sort of homage to the hobby’s roots in strange fiction that I like to create. The players have well-formed (or well-forming) personal agendas in mind that serve as their motives for exploring the world, which makes me happy. Some of the group even wanted to clear Widdecombe’s manse and use it as their own stronghold, reasoning that free buildings are hard to come by, and that they might save some hard-earned gold by reworking the existing structure rather than building a new one from the ground up, which I was enthused by. Others reasoned that the place was too hard to defend, however, and that they had plenty of exploring of the world left to do before settling and establishing a stronghold. I’m sure Mardun will find an excuse to return, whatever comes of the group’s will.

I’m also pretty proud of the reasonable sense of adventure we’ve eked out of three meager hexes worth of map space. The Wilderlands of High Fantasy are rife with ruins, forgotten people and cultures, and bits of life and history that have simply been… lost. It’s an amazing thing to discover, hex by hex.

Kickstarter from a Jaundiced Eye

Let’s start with a warning that everyone reiterates, but that many people don’t often consider: When you back a Kickstarter project, you’re not necessarily buying a product. You’re funding an attempt. Even if the Kickstarter you’re backing achieves its funding goal, there’s no guarantee that everything will go as planned and result in the thing you want to receive.

Kickstarter is a great service. It lets creative forces bypass the greenlighting processes that would otherwise encumber them in more traditional publishing models. It lets them go directly to the customer instead of having to wet the beaks of enough middlemen to inflate the prices.

One of the things it does not do, however, is ensure that the person running the project has any production acumen. Let’s say you find a Kickstarter project that’s a great idea. Maybe it’s a game you want to play or a book you want to read or an artist’s portfolio you want to enjoy. But until that work is done, the thing you’re pledging to support doesn’t actually exist. I’m all for creatives getting paid — it’s certainly how I’ve built my career — but the warning flags for me go off when there’s no actual thing yet in existence. It’s a safer bet to back if some aspect of the project already exists, because that leaves fewer promises to be broken if the project makes its funding. It’s the difference between “I’m going to make a game if you give me enough money!” and “I’m going to print this game that exists if you give me enough money!” The first pitch is full of rainbows and unicorns and laser helicopters made of angel-berry treacle (unless Matt Forbeck is working on it, because that guy is a machine). The second pitch still deserves a hairy eyeball, but I at least know that the pitching team has some experience in assembling a project and has some skin in the game already.

Who ordered a mummy?

I’ve got personal examples in the form of Onyx Path’s V20 material. In the case of the prestige editions of the Vampire titles that we’ve been publishing, those are books that are being developed for release in POD/ PDF format. Even if a Kickstarter fails for the prestige editions, those books will exist because we’ve written them; they’ll simply be available in non-prestige formats. In fact, they’ll exist before the Kickstarted prestige prints are complete, but as a perk for Kickstarter prestige backers, the release of the “unlimited” edition will follow the release of the prestige edition. Prestige backers get the fancier books, and they get them first. And if the Kickstarter project doesn’t meet its full backing, well, there’s still a book there, albeit in a different format than the prestige Kickstarter project intended to fund.

And that’s not the end of it. The reality of things is that it’s still really difficult to make all of the production logistics happen. The V20 Companion, for example, has existed now for nigh upon eight months. But the requirements of approving, printing, augmenting, and shipping a book has so many opportunities for things to go wrong that it’s impossible to ensure a smooth rollout. There’s an important word there: It’s not impossible to have a smooth rollout, but it’s impossible to ensure it. We’ve hit some snags with the Companion (we wanted them in players’ hands in April), but the process has moved inexorably forward (as you know if you’ve read Rich’s updates on the KS project). And Rich and I are guys who have over 25 years of cumulative experience printing books.

To be clear, as of this writing, the prestige editions of the V20 Companion are either on their way to the fulfillment house or at the fulfillment house. That’s a case in point. It took far longer to pull together and organize than was originally planned.

So the point here is that Kickstarter places you in the role of the venture capitalist, not that of a traditional customer. There’s no guarantee your project will hit its projected funding. There’s no guarantee that the final project will resemble the proposed project if it does make its projected funding. There’s not even a guarantee that there’ll be a final project. And even if everything does happen, there’s no guarantee it’ll happen as planned.

This isn’t to say that KS is full of hustlers. It’s full of people who now have a way to turn their wild ideas into actual creative endeavors. I backed Chris Engle’s map posters, for example, and they’re everything I’d hoped they’d be. I’m just saying that you have to know what you’re buying into.

I love Kickstarter. I’ve backed numerous projects that either wouldn’t have seen the light of day otherwise, or that I might not have heard about until it was too late. It’s a great way to add value to a project for the people who want it without holding the whole thing hostage for those who don’t care about the extra bells and whistles. I’ve used Kickstarter to help move the White Wolf business model from the publisher-distributor-retailer-player model of the previous century to the publisher-to-player model of the Internet era. It’s just important to know what Kickstarter is, and, just as importantly, what it isn’t. For me, the potential it offers is worth the unproven and nascent model, but key to that is knowing my relationship with the teams or individuals seeking backing.

Exodus, Session One

The session started in a small, riverside town of Bier, where rumors abounded and various character concepts yielded even more opportunity. Unfortunately, we had a few out-of-towners, so session one of Exodus began with only two players, but it was certainly enough to cause trouble and yielded two almost-TPKs.

Ah, the infinite potential of a blank sheet of hex mapping paper. A wondrous world awaits!

Exodus is a Pathfinder campaign set in the Wilderlands of High Fantasy, which has a decidedly old-school feel to it (largely because it was the first non-TSR D&D setting ever published, way back in the 16th century). It’s a sandbox hexcrawler, and that’s exactly what I gave to my players on session one. “You’re here. You’ve heard this, this, and this. Now what?”

The two characters, being of roguish persuasion, sought out the local dubious elements and proceeded to get themselves into hock with the thieves’ guild, a localized branch of the greater guild doing business in the City-State of the Invincible Overlord, that just happened to be running a smuggling operation out of Bier. The abbreviated party had heard:

  • The savages of the Purple Claw tribe haunt the Dearthwood to the north, across the Estuary of Roglaroon.
  • A madman recently came into town from the foothills to the south, raving about the horrors in the Tomb of the Seeker.
  • A pair of hideous giants prowls the wood to the west, under the control of a witches’ coven.
  • In a ruin to the northeast lies a treasure sought by the marauder Lokaug Vishnakh and his warband.

At this point, the party consisted of Mordun, a half-orc, half-tiefling alchemist trying to suborn his monstrous origin, and Quinthalas, an elven rogue displaced from the Dearthwood by the orcs of the Purple Claw. They decided that the wise thing to do would be to venture south and find exactly what this “Tomb of the Seeker” was, and then use that information to pay off their debts to the thieves’ guild, from whom they borrowed a pack animal to carry their supplies. Without a known destination, though, they later opted to seek out the giants of the nearby forest, to give them a better grasp of the immediate geography.

And giants they found. At least one, and apparently leading a rival tribe of orcs. The drew the giant and his entourage out of the forest with a great campfire, over which they roasted a deer, and the hungry humanoids followed the scent.

That’s when it fell apart. The party had staged itself in a ruin that stood on the crest of a hill, where the two hoped to be able to use the geography to their advantage. Tactical errors were the rule of the day, though, and while the duo managed to overwhelm the trio of orcish scouts who closed with them first, they were soon themselves overcome by eight more of the Mystic Eye tribe. TPK one.

Nothing good could come of it. And nothing good did.

When they came to, they found they had been dumped into a small catacomb beneath the ruin (which they presumably would have found had they not been swarmed by the orc raiders). Looking up into the moonlit sky, they saw a grate and the silhouette of an orcish head, and were told, “Find the idol and we’ll let you go.” Whatever was down there, the orcs didn’t want any part of it.

More haplessness occurred, with the rogue mostly finding a series of long-ago-sprung traps, but falling face-first into a recessed gallery that had collected a pool of viscous acid. Icons from an unknown age decorated the gallery, with the most notable being a large, human-shaped statue missing its arms and head.

Thereafter, with a bit more exploration, the pair discovered another shrine, this one protected by a bizarre pair of spiders. The spiders had constructed no webs, and instead seemed to be automatons or otherwise behaving unspiderishly. Flanking the alcove of the shrine were a pair of chests, and the alcove itself housed another headless, armless statue, around the neck-stump of which hung a pendant marked with the Mystic Eye on one side and a similar symbol on the other that they had encountered on a stone column when they still owned their freedom.

The spiders — the initially nonaggressive spiders that had been provoked into combat — proved more than the meager and wounded party could handle, and Mordun fled into the company of the orcs after procuring the relic. Quinthalas’ greed made an end of him, and he expired, food for the spiders — the vampire spawn spiders — in the abandoned shrine.

I don’t think those orcs came up with this on their own.

Mordun turned the pendant idol over to his orcish captors, who repaid him by branding their tribe’s sigil on his face.

In retrospect, on a gameplay level, I think the players had different expectations of the exploration game and sandbox experience. I think Quinthalas’ player, Nate, had a conception of “old school” gaming as “if it exists in the dungeon, it’s there to be conquered,” and that’s a perilous undertaking for first level characters. Sam, Mordun’s player, was much more cautious, but felt a player’s responsibility to help the other character, even though the Mordun probably should have fled when Quin pushed his luck too far. This is okay — the players are new to one another and the campaign is new, so everyone is still feeling out how he wants the campaign to proceed and how the players and characters relate to one another.

On my end, I didn’t feel like I evoked as much detail as I prefer to, nor do I think I conveyed the sense of the campaign scope as much as I might have liked. It’s something that will acquire a greater sense of understanding as the campaign progresses, so I’ll keep my eye on it. Also, the encounters felt a bit “stock,” and I’ll need to take my own advice to weird things up a bit once the campaign hits its stride.

For their part, the players were definitely proactive instead of waiting for the Malleus Argumentum, which was fantastic. The downside, of course, is inherent to sandbox games : The gamemaster has to know enough of the world to at least wing it when the players decide they want to do any given thing, so focused preparation suffers. I think this is somewhat to blame for my lack of evocative vision communication, but I’m happy to accept that as the cost for a world the players truly own in which they can undertake whatever they wish.

Clans and Covenants as a Matrix

In working on Vampire: The Requiem, one of the things I wanted to offer players was a greater pool of character relationships than was available in Masquerade. In Masquerade, your character creation option is very linear. The individual pieces are broad, but by and large, a character’s clan defines a great deal of his interaction with Kindred society. Your geography largely determines your sect (a decision made by the Storyteller, in most cases), and within that sect’s framework, you pick a clan. Sure, you can cite exceptions, but for the most part, this is how it works because this is how the setting assumes it works. You can be the one Sabbat Lasombra in a Camarilla city if you want, and if the Storyteller agrees, but the social structures assumed by the Masquerade setting regard such a thing as a rarity.

So for Requiem, I wanted to expand that a bit, but I wanted to do it in a way that didn’t paralyze the player with the paradox of choice.

If only it were actually this simple.

Practically, I built a matrix that drew upon one of the parts people really liked about Masquerade: the ideologies. The romanticized arch-traditionalism of the Camarilla and the apocalyptic libertarianism of the Sabbat both gave people fungible philosophies that they could cleave to that gave texture to their storytelling, and those of the other sects did, too. We brainstormed and went back and forth a great deal about what concepts semi-organized groups of vampires organized around — the covenants. Religion, naturally, formed the foundation of two of them. More secular politics formed two others. The third became the weird theosophy of the Ordo Dracul, which had a distinctly Gothic tilt. (These didn’t just spring into being, however. We originally had a wheel set up that opposed certain ideologies and was sympathetic with others. When it came down to giving these cogent belief structures that balanced so neatly, however, well, that didn’t work as well. I think part of this came as a result of over-structuring the social dynamic. I wish it would have worked out smoothly because I love the visual arrangement of such information, but it just didn’t result in vampire doctrines that made any sense.)

The other axis of the matrix was a no-brainer. That was where the clans went. The idea of vampire clans is so central to White Wolf’s take on Vampire that I knew I wanted it to carry over from Masquerade into requiem. (Whether that’s actually true is another discussion, but I still stand by it.)

The combination of these character-definition keystones lent themselves to good mechanisms for narrative drama. What do you think and what do you do about it? What are you “born” (clan) and what do you “choose” (covenant)? In parallel to other roleplaying games, what’s your race and class? The result is a matrix of 25 possible character archetypes instead of a subset of a spectrum of 13.

Clan x covenant = a breadth of character options.

Some Hunters Hunted 2 Redlines

Lubricating the development of Vampire since 1998.

Good evening, my darlings. I’m hard at work on Hunters Hunted 2 for Vampire: The Masquerade and I wanted to pull back the curtain a bit and show you a draft in development.

Click here to download Chapter Three: Tools and Tactics

This is Black Hat Matt’s Tools and Tactics chapter. It’s a first draft, meaning that Matt has written to a close approximation of his word count, and covered the topics I’ve requested in the outline as well as exploring material that, during his writing, he’s thought critically about and decided is worth discussion. There’s a little extra room for Matt to round out his word count in the final draft, but this says almost everything he anticipates saying.

You’ll notice my markup in the margins, making some grammatical changes and asking a few leading questions that can help fulfill the full 15K word count that has been allocated to the chapter. I may ask for more of some material or I may ask that he pare back on a concept that doesn’t quite fit as well as I’d like.

Some of my changes are minor but significant. Things like word choice go a long way toward making Vampire evoke the gothic-punk flavor you expect, and maintain a consistent feel throughout the line. For example, I change almost every use of the word “day” to “night,” unless the writer is actually talking about the sunlit hours. Vampires don’t “live to see another day,” for example — they’re undead and rise when the sun sets, so that’s the sort of thing I’d change to “survive for another night.” Similarly, unless the word “friend” is literally the best choice, I usually change those, as well. When you’re a deathless corpse returned from the grave to steal the warm blood of the still-living, do you really have any “friends”? Maybe you have allies or contacts or acquaintances or people you know, but “friends” don’t really figure into the Kindred condition.

Other changes are more significant. Sometimes I excise an entire paragraph or subsection if it deviates from the theme, mood, and purpose of the book. Sometimes I ask a writer to take a greater look at an idea to retool it or rewrite it entirely. Sometimes I really like a single reference the writer has made and ask him to spend some of his word count expanding that solitary idea into a more substantial discussion.

It’s also worth noting that this draft is particularly clean. It’s solid conceptually, it’s well written, and it evidences Matt’s many years of experience in not only writing for Vampire but writing for me in particular. You may think, “Wow, that’s a lot of markup,” but you should also note that it’s mostly positive feedback. And, well, it’s actually not a lot of markup. First-time writers for me usually see a lot more red, but that’s to help us both. They improve their craft a bit and I get the draft I want. It’s worth spending the time to build the relationship because, over time, the writer knows what I want, how to format it, and how best to communicate it in a consistent Vampire way. I’m rarely driven to drink more than a fifth or bourbon or gin by the time I’ve worked with a writer three or four times.

Take a peek through the draft here and note not only what Matt says in his manuscript, but what I ask him to polish, remove, or expand. You’ll be able to see firsthand how I do my work.

Exodus Campaign Kickoff

Now that I’m out from under Children of the Revolution (but still working on Hunters Hunted 2, Anarchs Unbound, and a fiction project… oh, and my day job of AAA video game development), I’m firing up a new Pathfinder campaign set in the Wilderlands of High Fantasy. You know, because I don’t have enough on my plate.

It’s an exploration campaign, turning the players loose on the world and letting them do what they want with it. Pathfinder is a little bit dense for this sort of thing — will no one deliver me from the perfidy of skill lists? — but it’s excellent for realizing distinct characters and niche protection. I want the players to have those distinctions when they charge into the unknown and either stake their claims or take up personal crusades.

In preparation for the kickoff, I bashed together a trailer-style introduction to the campaign. It’s light on details — those are the players’ province to flesh out — but good with mood and theme.

The trailer includes the art of E.M. Gist, Kris Kuksi, Fenghua Zhong, Ming Fan, Zheng Ma, Levi Hopkins, Yun Ling, James Paick, Jaime Jones, Mitchell Mohrhauser, Khang-Le, Jaemin Kim, Jeff Simpson, Thom Tenery, Seryl, Mathieu Lauffray, and Annis Naeem (all plucked from CGHub). The music is “La Douce” by Corvus Corax.

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